I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got inside last night via doggy door
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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