Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
