can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize