Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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