I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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