there's paper in my vomit.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
