i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I just found a bag of teeth...
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize