I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
