so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
