You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
