So drunk its hurt
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize