hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
