She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
