Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
