First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
