ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Its about making memories worth repressing
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
