Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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