I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
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