Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
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I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
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I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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