So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
