my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
