Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize