Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize