no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
