did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Randomize