You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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