I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Found your dick twin last night
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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