Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I can text with my tongue
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
