I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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