when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
