I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
