Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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