i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
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