She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
