My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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