'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize