David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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