Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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