KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
