i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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