shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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