can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
