i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
This girl is more easily done than said...
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Is it penis luge time yet?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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