Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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