Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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