ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
