What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
