I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
