So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
