Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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