I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
