I just saw a hot homeless man
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
