and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
