It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
