I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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