They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize