Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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