you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
