Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
