Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize