In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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