last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
