The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
