Nicole vs. Life
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
