the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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