i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
