I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
